19 Months Old Today

My Dearest Isabella,

Today, you are 19 months old. Yes, you are now older than a year and a half. I don't know where the time has gone. I am amazed by you each and every single day. The things you do, the words you say, the new expressions, the way you walk and play. Amazing. You are grown so much and developed so much. I'm afraid to sleep for fear that I will wake up and you'll be a kindergartener. That is how fast it seems like you are growing up. My precious and sweet little miracle baby, the one who weighed less than six and a half pounds, is now a twenty-some pound little girl who just melts my heart. That would be YOU! Yes, you were once my little peanut and now, you are just the sweetest little girl.

Tonight, I was rocking you for our short, daily snuggle before bed, and I got a little teary-eyed looking at you. I just cannot seem to wrap my mind around how big you are. You sing, talk, dance, and laugh all the time. I am so smitten with you. My nineteen months with you has taught me so much about you, what makes you smile, what makes you laugh. I enjoy watching you, playing with you, and singing with you.

This past weekend, your Great-Mom-Mom would have been 99 years old. She was something special. She wanted so much to have a great grandchild. She dreamed of you, desired you, and wanted nothing more than to spoil you. She would love every moment spent with you. I know you are everything she dreamed of and more. Your Mom-Mom always said that she wanted to be the same kind of Mom-Mom to you that her mom was to Aunt Dee Dee and your mom (me). I think she is doing an excellent job. She is everything a Mom-Mom should be. She sings to you, plays with you, laughs with you, and does everything my Mom-Mom did for me. Your Great Mom-Mom was someone so very special. I wish so often that she was hear to know you, see you, hold you. But you do have two wonderful grandmothers and that alone makes me smile.

My dearest daughter, I delight in your presence. You make me smile and laugh. On days where I just want to curl up in a ball and cry, you are my sunshine that reminds me that if I look through the eyes of a child, there is always something in life to smile and sing about. You have taught me so much about how to look at each day, how to look at myself, and how to have more fun than anyone ever thought possible. You give Daddy and me such laughter. I love every moment we can spend with you.

People ask us if we are going to have any more kids. Daddy and I would love to have more kids, but for right now, for where we are in this moment in time, you are more than enough to fill our hearts and home with the joy of being a complete family. You are the daughter my heart always dreamed of. You are the daughter I went over two years trying to conceive. You are the daughter I almost gave up hope of conceiving. You are the daughter God chose for me. You are my blessing. Happy 19-month birthday (okay, so it isn't really a REAL birthday, but it counts for something! Enjoy life while you can still count it easily in months!)! Life has certainly never been the same since you, Isabella Joy, entered the world. You have forever changed our hearts and we wouldn't have it any other way. We love you so very much!

Love,
Mom