Your First Christmas

Dear Isabella,

We celebrated your first Christmas a few days ago. What a magical time for our little family! Your dad and I have waited for this day for so long. We had two Christmases that came and went without any hopes of you. Last year, we were expecting you. So this year, we were able to hold you in our arms, spoil you, delight in you. You are such a joy! 

This year, you were able to celebrate the day with Mommy, Daddy, Mom-Mom, Poppy, Aunt Amy, Aunt Dana, Uncle Perry, your cousin Dylan, Mr. Jay, and Mr. Bob. It was a special day. Everyone wanted to hold you, play with you, and love on you. Even Dylan wanted to play with you. Next year, if Dylan makes it up to visit, you'll be able to play with him. It was tough this year for him to play with you. But it was so much fun watching him try! 

You are the best gift anyone could ask for this Christmas. The smile you put on our faces is priceless. There have been so many exciting things we've done with you this season! You worked the church Nativity with Mommy. I work as a hostess every year greeting the thousands of people who come to walk through our Living Nativity. This year, I strapped you in to the carrier and you helped me! It was awesome. We also took you to see Santa. The most awesome part is that Santa was at the farm and the pictures were free as long as we brought our own camera! Such a priceless picture. You attended your first Christmas Eve service at Mom-Mom and Poppy's church. And then, on Christmas morning, we took you with us to The Evergreens where Mommy and Daddy play the music for the church service every year. It's important to us that you grow up realizing that Christmas is not just a day for your own family, but a day to serve other families, as well.

Oh, Isabella, I'm just so in love with you! Christmas has come and gone this year and it was a very special time. Next year, you'll understand more about the birth of Jesus. When we read you your Christmas Eve book about the first Christmas and we let you listen to Mom-Mom and Poppy reading your other book about the first Christmas, you will be able to understand the true meaning of Christmas. Sure, presents are great. Family time is special. But the true meaning of Christmas is about a baby. A baby born in Bethlehem. A baby born and laid in a manger. A baby who would one day save the world. Next year, we'll be able to explain to you all about Jesus. You'll be able to set up a nativity scene with us and place Jesus in the manger. This Christmas was special, but next Christmas will be special, too!


Thank you for blessing us so much this Christmas. Thank you for the cuddles and the smiles on Christmas morning. I love you and my heart just overflows with the joy you give me each and every day.


Love,

Mom

Christmas is Coming!

Dear Isabella,

It is still so hard to believe that you have been with us for so long already. Time surely flies in the blink of an eye. It feels like just yesterday, I held you for the first time, kissed you for the first time on your rosy little cheeks, snuggled with you for the first time, and nursed for the first time. Yet, it's been almost 5 months already. And so much has changed!

Every day, you just amaze me. You're doing so many neat new things and watching you grow and develop before my own eyes is just such a delight. I could listen to your baby talk all day long. Your giggling makes my heart melt. You are just so delightful! You're always smiling, always happy, and always seeking something to entertain yourself. I think you're going to be my little adventure seeker before long. 

So with Christmas coming, I just wanted to tell you some things I am looking forward to this year. I'm looking forward to letting you play with your stocking (and of course, the things in the stocking). I'm looking forward to you opening all of your presents. Mommy and Daddy are going to wrap them up and you get to help unwrap them all (just like you did with the present Uncle Nic and Aunt Malinda sent you). I'm looking forward to our first family picture with a baby by the Christmas tree at Mom-Mom and Poppy's house. Last year, it was Daddy and Mommy and you were in my belly but nobody could tell. So this year, we get to hold you for all to see. I'm looking forward to taking you to church for your first Christmas Eve service. 

My darling baby, I love all the new adventures we are going on. I love watching all the new things you do. Each day is so wonderful spending it with you. There is nowhere else I want to be than wherever it is that you are. I love you very much and this Christmas will be so much more special because God has blessed us with you!


Love,

Mom

Thanksgiving Blessings

Dear Isabella,

We celebrated a wonderful Thanksgiving on Thursday this year. It was amazing to share it with you. Last year, it was on Thanksgiving that your daddy and I discovered that we were expecting you. It was an exciting day. But nothing is more exciting than sitting next to you at the dinner table. I am thankful for the blessings you have given us as a family. You came into our lives and gave us so much more to be thankful for. You make us all smile. You give us the blessing of being parents. Nothing compares to the love that fills your heart when you are a parent. 

So, as we start another year with things to be thankful for, I already have a short list to start. I'm thankful for being able to decorate for Christmas with you in my arms. I'm thankful for all the changes you are enduring. You are growing so quickly! I'm thankful for the love your daddy constantly gives us both. From girl to girl, it's going to be hard sometimes for your daddy to have patience for us. But he's doing well so far!

I'm just so thankful that God has blessed us with you. You are no longer an idea. You are no longer a plus sign on a pregnancy test. You are no longer just a surge in hormones. You are real. You are a child. You are MY child. I can hold you, hug you, cuddle with you, kiss you, snuggle with you, tickle you, and love you. I can look at you, watch you as you smile, and listen to you as you giggle. God truly is great and has blessed us richly this year.

Love,
Mom

My Little Princess

Dear Isabella,

Yesterday marked a happy 15 weeks in your life. It's so exciting to watch as you grow so big and do more and more things. I can't even explain the joy I have with you in my life. God has blessed our little family so greatly with you. I am just so thrilled to wake up every morning and see your beautiful face. I love to see your big blue eyes just glowing when you see Daddy or me. It always makes my day even more special.

My darling baby, you are just so precious. Although I'm not so thrilled with these early morning wake up calls this past week, you are still my precious little princess. You bring more joy, meaning, and laughter into my life. I have that joy I waited for. You ARE the joy I waited for! Oh, the waiting! I knew that waiting for God's time would yield something special, but I had no idea it would be something this special. You are just the sunshine in all of our lives. 

I love you so much, Isabella. I'm just so thrilled to have you, to spend my evenings cuddling with you. Thank you for making my life as a Mom so special and so exciting!

Love,

Mommy

10 Weeks Already

My Dear Sweet Isabella,

I can hardly believe that you have been with us for ten weeks now. Yesterday marked your ten week birthday. It still feels like yesterday when I first held you in my arms and felt love like I never felt before. There are no words to describe the feeling a mother has when she holds her very first child in her arms. I waited so long to meet you, hold you, kiss you, snuggle with you. And when that moment finally came, my heart overflowed with so many emotions. I still feel those emotions now. 

You are so different now than you were in the very beginning. Like all babies, you have already taken on a personality so unique. You are my little cuddler. You love cuddle time with Mommy and Daddy. Those moments are marvelous! I love cuddling with you. You are so full of smiles and giggles now, too. Your smile melts my heart. You are ticklish, too. I love to tickle your tummy and watch you smile. 

My heart is a little broken with having to go back to work in a week. But Sweet Isabella, I have enjoyed my time here at home with you. I'm so glad we had the extra snuggles, cuddles, kisses, and bonding time. Now, you'll get that time with your Mom-Mom and Poppy. I know you'll enjoy spending time with them while Mommy and Daddy work. You've made my life so special and I am forever changed because of you.

Love,
Mom

All the Things I Love

Dear Isabella,

It's been a while since Mommy has had a chance to write you a letter. But you sure keep me busy! I wanted to tell you all the things I love about you, even though you are just approaching your seven-week birthday. So here's a short list:

♥ I love the way you snuggle with me during your afternoon cat naps.
♥ I love your little noises that you make when you sleep.
♥ I love your little dimples that match your Daddy's.
♥ I love your silky soft hair.
♥ I love the smiles you give your Daddy when he gets home from work.
♥ I love our bonding time when you are nursing.
♥ I love taking you on walks in the evening.
♥ I love seeing you in all your new clothes.
♥ I love showing you off to everyone who wants to look at you.
♥ I love touching your baby soft skin.
♥ I love kissing your super cute round cheeks.
♥ I love watching you sleep peacefully.
♥ I love carrying you around everywhere I go.
♥ I love your sweet cooing sounds when you are so happy.


There is so much more I could write, but since you are laying in my arms, typing is rather difficult! Mommy loves you so much!!


Love,
Mom

Forever Changed

Dear Isabella,

I cannot believe how much life has changed since you arrived three weeks ago. I used to wonder how new parents did it, how they just changed their life around when a baby changed their world. But it's just one of those things that changes itself. Life will never be the same since you have come into my life.

I love to spend my time with you. Even though you are still so little, and there's nothing that you play with yet, you've started to recognize the sound of your name. Whenever I say your name, you look in my general direction. You know my voice so well. You and I have shared many conversations, of course I'm the only one doing the talking right now. I love how you can sleep for an hour or two just laying on my chest, wrapped or covered in a blanket. There is no better feeling than snuggles and cuddles with you. 

Your daddy is forever changed, too. He's a pro at changing your diaper already. He loves his snuggles and cuddles from you. When he snuggles with you, he likes to nap at the same time. There's nothing sweeter than a little Daddy/Baby nap time. I love to see how content you are just sleep in your daddy's arms. Some little girls never get to meet their daddy, whether it's because those daddies choose to leave or because they are longer here (like your Uncle John). I hope and pray that you grow up to cherish the moments you get to spend with your daddy. He's so in love with you and I know you already love him. 

I just wanted to thank you, Isabella, for coming into my world, for giving me so much joy. My life is unbelievably changed and I wouldn't ever ask for it to go back to the way it was. My sleepless nights are worth it. Yes, Mommy gets frustrated sometimes when you won't go back to sleep easily after a middle of the night feeding, but I dreamed of these days for so long. And now you are here and life is forever changed. Thank you for changing my life!

Love,

Mom

The Blessing of You

My Dearest Isabella,

I have been meaning to write to you since the day you arrived, but life has been very busy. You've now been with us for about ten days. In those ten days, you have changed my life completely. I couldn't ask for a better blessing than you. God certainly knew that this was the right time for you to enter my life. 

I want to tell you all about the first day I laid eyes on you. Mommy had to have surgery to have you, since you didn't seem to get the memo that babies should be head down in order to come out of Mommy's body. But that's okay, Isabella, I was in great hands. Miss Nancy from church even came to the hospital on her day off to assist as a nurse with the surgery. It was scary, I won't lie to you. Mommy had never had surgery before, so the mere thought of scalpels and stitches and blood was very frightening. But nothing was going to keep me from getting to you. 


You certainly made Dr. L earn his pay check on July 28th! He did an ultrasound less than an hour before the c-section to see where you were. You decided to move head down. Silly baby, you should have already been head down! I opted for the surgery anyway. I didn't want to wait much longer to hold you in my arms. Lucky for Mommy, the surgery went on as planned...except you weren't where Dr. L last saw you. Being the wiggle worm you are, you had moved! He had to do an extra cut in Mommy's uterus so that he could get you out. You didn't want to come out, though, you kept dodging his hands. Finally, he pulled you out into the world. But Mommy heard no crying. I panicked. But the nurses later said you were looking all around, confused and a bit scared. Then, when you realized you weren't going back in, you started crying. It was music to Mommy's ears. See, with the surgery, Mommy couldn't see anything, so the crying made it real. I knew you were out, you were mine, and my heart was so overjoyed.


Your daddy got to hold you almost right away. I know you stopped crying as soon as he held you. You knew his voice from the very beginning. Then, they brought you over to me so I could see you. What a rush of joy. I was so overcome with joy that I just cried. My blessing from God was finally here!


In the past week, you have blessed our lives immensely. Everyone is in love with you. You are healthy, lovable, quiet, and cute. You're this perfect little baby wrapped up in a package of tan skin with brown hair. How could I not love you more and more with each passing day! God certainly knew you were needed in all of our lives and here you are, already blessing those around. Lots of people know how much it took to conceive you and they know why we call you "Isabella Joy." It means "God's promise of joy." No other words can express how it feels to hold you, kiss your sweet face, touch your tiny hands and feet, and hold you and rock you to sleep. 


Mommy looks forward to all the blessings you will bring into all of our lives. You are just perfect in every way. That's why this scripture expresses how Mommy feels perfectly. "

Every good and perfect gift is from above." ~ James 1:17


Love, 
Mom

A Mother's Wish

Dear Isabella,

Time is coming closer to when we finally get to meet each other face to face. This is the day I have prayed for, dreamed of, wished for for three long years. There are no words to describe the emotions I have right now, as I wait in anticipation to hold you in my arms at last. I am nervous about so many things and yet the single thought of hearing your cries and coos and seeing your beautiful face makes all my fears seem to melt away. 

In less than three days, Izzy, I can finally see your perfect little fingers and toes. I can watch you sleep and know that you are a gift to your daddy and me. I can make you smile, hear your cries, and know that God has blessed me richly with your little life. In less than three days, God's plans for me as a mother will begin with you. 

My wish for you as I wait in anticipation is that you would know how much I have waited for you, prayed for you, and dreamed of you. My wish is that you would always know the love that surrounds you from your dad, me, and all of our family and friends. You have been wanted and prayed over by more people than you will ever know. My wish is that you would know how blessed we are to have you in our lives. We have been blessed throughout the past three years, with waiting to conceive you and then with waiting these past nine months to finally meet you. We are so blessed by you. My wish is that you will grow up to know that we are very much wanted and loved. There isn't a single ounce of my heart than doesn't well up with emotion when I think of all the adventures that await us as you grow older. My wish for you is that you always know you are special. God created you with nobody else in mind. You are made for a purpose and that is to serve Him. You are a gift from Him and we are blessed by that gift.

Oh, Isabella, soon I will hold you in my arms. Soon I can kiss your sweet cheeks and touch your soft baby skin. Soon, I can hold you in my arms, rock you to sleep, and sing you lullabies. Until then, my sweet child, I will be waiting in anticipation.

Love,
Mom

I Can Hardly Wait!

My Dear Isabella,

Your scheduled arrival date is now set for July 28th. Since you like to tumble around and wiggle so much, you aren't in the position they want to see you in. So I have a surgery date and time in place, just in case you don't do what you should. That day is a week from tomorrow. Oh, Isabella, words cannot express the joy in my heart as I anxiously wait for your arrival. 

There was a time where I really thought this day may never greet me. I was in a place where my faith was shaken a bit and I wanted to be in control of when and how you would be conceived. I gave all that to God, laid it at His feet. I had to give up my dream of a child in MY time. It's when I was able to lay down my dreams that God took over control and kept to His promise of a child. We prayed so hard for you before you were ever conceived. We prayed for you when we first decided to start a family. God has granted our wish for a child by blessing us with you. We have been so blessed already by your life and you aren't even outside the womb yet!

Oh, my darling child, I cannot fathom the joy that awaits me when they first lay you in my arms. Oh how I cannot stand the anticipation of that moment! I'm teary-eyed just thinking of how I will feel when I hold you, kiss you, hug you, and see you for the first time. I can't wait to touch your ten perfect little fingers, to kiss your soft baby skin, to rock you to sleep in my arms. There are no words to really express how it feels to be waiting in such anticipation for that moment. What's more is that I will be so filled with love and joy when I see your Daddy hold you for the first time. He's been waiting for you for so long. He's like a child waiting for an exciting vacation. His sleep has been broken with thoughts of you. 

It has been such a long journey to get us to this day of waiting. But every step of that journey was worth the pain, the sorrow, the fear, and the tears. Those are all things that were part of the path God placed us on. There are no words for how thankful I am for all that it took to conceive you. I'm thankful for the tears, for the pain, for the fear of never meeting you. It is through all of those experiences that I am able to appreciate the blessing of your life. You were promised to us three years ago when your Dad and I first prayed about a family. And in a week, we will finally meet you, God's promise to us. I love you, you are the joy of my heart!

Love,

Mom

A Letter From Your Daddy

This is a letter written the other night when your Daddy couldn't sleep.

My Dear Isabella,

I'm writing to you as I wait for you to come into this world. Your entire family is awaiting your arrival more than you will ever know. By the time you read this, you will hopefully be a healthy, vibrant young lady. But just ten months ago, your Mother and I thought we might never see you.

While you may have already heard from us how hard it was to conceive you, words cannot express the pain and sorrow we had in our hearts. It took so long to conceive you-almost two and a half years-that your Mother gave up almost all hope. It took a team of doctors eleven months to find out how to conceive you. Most parents never go through that, and I hope that when you grow up, you'll never go through it, either.

You can only imagine the joy in our hearts when we woke up Thanksgiving morning to find out your Mom was pregnant! Since then, you have had so many people rooting for you. Your family, many of our friends, people we work with, and even random people who heard our story started praying for you. They all prayed that you would make it safe and sound, nine months later, into this world.

That's why we named you "Isabella Joy." When we first decided to name you, the name "Isabella" came to mind because we found that it means "God's Promise." We gave you the middle name "Joy" because of the joy you have brought to our family.

However, Isabella can also mean "Consecrated to God," and I pray that you will be consecrated to the Lord. Rephrasing Samuel 1:27-28, "We prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted us what we asked of Him. So now, we give you to the Lord. For your whole life, you will be given over to the Lord." You  are a special child, Isabella, and every day we will hope and pray that you will grow up not only loving the Lord, but serving Him as well.

Someday soon, we'll tell you the whole story of everything it took to bring you into this world, but for now, we hope that you understand that your Heavenly Father wanted you so much that He waited until now for you to be born. He could have given us a child much sooner, but then we would never have had you, and you will always be special in our hearts. 

May you always know that you are loved,
And that you learn how to share God's love with others.
May you always know that you are blessed,
And one day, bless others in His name.
May you always know that you are God's gift to us,
And one day, give unto others as He has given to you.

Signed,

Your Earthly Father

Keep Baking, Little One!

Dear Isabella,

It's been quite an interesting adventure, this last month. You certainly keep life interesting, never a dull moment. I'm so thankful that you are still baking and are showing no signs that you want to come out any time. Keep doing that, you're not ready to come out yet! 

So, I have to be honest with you, Izzy. I'm so excited to meet you and hold you soon. But I'm so nervous about the process of labor. I scheduled a c-section today for July 28th just in case you decide to not change positions. You have yourself wedged into a very awkward and seemingly dangerous position. You might want to think about moving, since Mommy really would love to pop you out instead of having surgery to get you out. So although I want you to keep baking, I would really like it if you could move into the correct position for birth. You don't have a lot of time left!

Your room is all set up and ready for you now. We're just waiting on your arrival. But really, there is no rush. You still have a few weeks left before you need to arrive. So just take your time and relax in there. I love getting to see you twice a week at doctor's appointments. That is more than enough for now, since I really want you to bake longer. You're getting bigger, stronger, and healthier. Soon, you'll be ready to greet the big world with your sweet self. I may be impatient and say I can't wait, but I'm waiting and I want to wait as long as I have to for you. I love you, Little One!!

Love,
Mom

Only 7 More Weeks!

Dear Isabella,

This has been the most amazing journey getting to know you before I even get to hold you. I am so much in love with you already. I had come to a place in my life where I was content knowing that God may not bless me with being a mom. And then, he blessed me with the gift of you. Each time I get to see you on an ultrasound monitor, it melts my heart. If I love you this much now, just wait until the first time I can hold you in my arms...


Having a 3D/4D ultrasound was amazing. I can't believe we could see you so well. Your chubby cheeks are the most adorable thing. I must admit that I don't like when you put your entire leg over your head. This is the reason my back hurts at the end of the day. I wish you wouldn't do that, but I know space is getting tight and cramped in there.

Hang in there for 7 more weeks, Izzy. We'll get to meet face to face soon enough. I'm excited about that day, but I'm waiting patiently. Just be nice in the meantime, no kicking me near the ribs. And please learn to calm down when it's bed time!

Love,
Mom

Practicing Olympic Sports

Dear Isabella, 

Mommy has decided that you are going to be an Olympic star. With all the fancy moves you perform anymore, there really is no other profession planned out for you. You swim all the time. Your kicks are getting stronger, so I'm not sure which sport you want to play. You should know ahead of time that your Daddy is pretty stern about cheerleading. He says you're not doing it, so stop practicing all the crazy daredevil jumps. Don't think I can't feel them. I may not see what you are doing, but I feel it all!

Of course, I'm also wondering if you're practicing your future career as a beach bum. You seem to enjoy laying right on my bladder, so I guess you like being near the water to relax. But please stop laying on my bladder. It's really not comfortable. 

Maybe you're going to be a musician...organist to be specific. You do like to kick my bladder, which is an organ. 

Okay, Isabella, ease up on the practicing of your sports moves. Mommy really doesn't like it all the time. Your feet are bigger and so you are. So be nice. 

Love,
Mom

Everything Is About You!

Dear Baby Girl,

How does it feel for everything to be about you right now? You are so special and so important. All of our planning is about you. All of our cleaning and rearranging is to prepare for you. There are no words to express our joy in anticipation of your August arrival. We keep cleaning more, planning, putting things in our registry created just for you. 

We are so excited to know that you are growing, changing, getting closer to your arrival in this big world. But, Baby Girl, we need to have our first real Mother/Daughter conversation. Last night, you were quite the naughty child. We need to set some ground rules. When Mommy wants to go to sleep, that does not mean it's time for you to play. Last night, your Daddy was writing a very important email to your Grandmom and it was getting very late. Mommy was tired. But you wouldn't let me sleep. I don't know if you were disco dancing or what, but Saturday Night Fever needs to wait until it's day time. 

Now that we have cleared the air about that, your Daddy and I are so excited to know you are growing and doing well. I can't wait to hold you in a few months. But until then, I will love the bonding time you and I have with each other. 

Love, 
Mom

My Baby Girl

My Dearest Baby Girl,

I'm sorry I haven't written to you in a little bit, but it's been quite the rough week. This week, a good friend died in a very bad car accident. His wife is having a baby, too, just a month after you come. So it's been a week full of many tears. My joy of knowing you are a girl came only a number of hours before the news of J.'s death. 

But, keeping it happy, Baby Girl, your dad and I are leaning towards Isabella Joy. Your daddy is so excited about this because he wants to nickname you "Izzy Gillespie." With being a trumpet player and having the appreciation for brass, your dad just gets enjoyment out of those types of things. Either way, if we do choose Isabella, we'll call you "Izzy." 

I've been looking at different things for you, like a high chair and car seat. But more importantly, your daddy twisted my arm into wanting girly bedding. So we settled on this adorable set that is lavender/mauve/pink with butterflies. It's called "Sugar Plum." It will suit you perfectly! I'm so excited!!

So I discovered this week that you like brass music! J. was a tuba player, so at his celebration service, there was a lot of brass music. Your daddy played the trumpet with our church's brass ensemble. The louder the brass music was, the more you were dancing around and kicking me gently. I'm so excited that you are responding to music because your daddy and I are both musicians. I'm hoping you'll grow up to play an instrument (of your choice, of course, don't let you daddy force you to play a brass instrument) and let music influence your soul the way it does your daddy's and mine. 


I still pray for you every day. I'm so excited that we are over halfway to meeting you face to face. Until that day comes, I'll keep writing you letters, love darling little girl!


Love,
Mom

Thursday is Coming!

Dear Little Bean,

Thursday is finally coming closer and closer. I'm calling it "Revelation Day." You will finally reveal to your Mama here who you are! I'm so excited to know if you are a boy or a girl. I've felt since December that you were a boy. But when your dad touches my belly and talks to you, I feel like you're Daddy's Little Girl! I'm so excited about Thursday. 

It's been so long since I've had a sneak peek at you. So I'm excited that I get to have a peek at you again. And this time, instead of being a little blob, you'll really look like the baby that you are. That's super exciting. I can't wait!

You're starting to move around a bit more. Sometimes, I feel it. It's so exciting when I do. I can't wait feel your kicks and punches. I know your daddy is so excited and he can't wait, either. He'll be so excited when he can finally feel your kicks when he touches my belly. 

It's time to run for now, my darling child, but I promise to try to write more often!

Love,
Mom

Mommy Feels You!

My Dearest Child,

I'm so excited that I can finally feel your movements. I still haven't really felt kicks or punches yet, but it's still super early for that. Mommy's waiting so anxiously, though! But I can feel you moving around in your temporary home and it's just so exciting. It's one of those more intimate moments between Mom and Baby that I reserved myself to thinking I would never experience. To be here with you now, knowing you are growing, dancing, moving around, it's just amazing. 

Now, my child, with that said...I beg you to play nice with me. These hormone changes? They're not fun. Your Daddy tells you all the time to play nice with me. I've been more nauseous in the past few weeks than I had been up to that point. But I don't blame you, I blame the hormones of pregnancy. Mommy just likes to tease. You'll get used to that! 

Only a few weeks left until I can see you again and hopefully, you'll cooperate so I can know if you are on Team Pink or Team Blue. I'm so nervous and excited about that. We have some names chosen, but once we find out what team you play for, we'll really look at those names and choose one that is perfect for you. I can't wait! 

Until my next letter, be nice, don't beat me up too much, but I can't wait to feel your kicks and punches, sweet child of mine!

Love,
Mom

My little Love Bug

Dear Little Bean,

It's been a little while since I've had a chance to sit down and write to you. I guess the difference is that now, I can talk to you. Although you can't really hear me yet, I still talk to you all the time. It still doesn't feel real to me. I sometimes question whether or not you are really living inside, in your comfortable temporary home. I'm so glad God chose you for me. Your dad an I are already planning for you. We started cleaning yesterday after being snowed in for the third time this winter. We are going to rearrange the apartment to better meet your needs when you arrive. I'm so excited about getting to know you!!

With Valentine's Day coming up, I've been calling you my "Love Bug." But don't worry, you're still Little Bean (Beanette). I can't wait to find out which team you are on, pink or blue. I don't have too many more weeks to wait, time sure is going by quickly! 

Now, let me tell you a few reasons why I already love you. I love you because:

• You are my first Love Bug.
• You came as the prize for a long journey through faith and perseverance.
• You are a child of God.
• You are precious and beautiful.
• You are  part of me.

Oh, Little Bean, I'm waiting ever so patiently to meet you face to face. Until then, I love you more and more each day. I'm looking forward to knowing if you are a girl or a boy and getting to see you again on an ultrasound. Only 5 more weeks until that day. I'll try to wait patiently...

Love,
Mom

Scary Moments

Dear Little Bean,

Your mama really had some scary moments yesterday. I woke up to find some brown spotting and my heart sank. I immediately called the doctor. Need to make sure you are okay, you know? You are a gift from God and just like with all gifts, I know that He gives and takes away. But I prayed to keep you. 

So I saw the doctor today to make sure you were okay. What an amazing experience. You are so well developed already. I can't believe it. You waved at me with a perfect hand with five perfect little fingers. I saw your spine, and its beautiful straight line. It was such a wonderful experience. For as scared as I was, to hear your heartbeat again and see every part of you was such a relief. I am so glad you are okay. Everything about you is fine. 

Keep on growing in there, my Little Bean. You still have a long time to wait to meet me face to face. Just stay healthy in there!

Love,


Mom

Still Growing

Dear Little Bean,

It's still such a strange thing to know that you are living inside of me.  You have taken up residency in my womb. It's amazing to think about that. 

I'm waiting ever so patiently to find out if you are a girl or a boy. But it still seems like forever away to wait. It's another two months of waiting to get that ultrasound so that I can prepare for you, my love. Mommy wants to make everything perfect for you. 

Your dad is getting more excited. He talks to you all the time. I know you can't hear him yet, but that's okay. He'll keep talking to you and one of these weeks, you will finally be able to hear his voice. 

Your furry sister still doesn't know about you. I guess she'll have to wait until you are born to understand. She thinks she's the baby these days and since you took up a home in my womb, she has been more of a "Mommy's Girl." It's funny to realize that she knows that things are different, even if she doesn't know how. She was always "Daddy's Girl" and cuddles up on his lap to get her ears rubbed. Now, she cuddles up with me on my lap and wants to be loved. She's got a shocker coming over the summer when she realizes that she is a dog and not really a baby.

Until my next letter, my child, remember that Mommy and Daddy love you very much. It's such an amazing experience to know that you and I are a few months closer to meeting each other. 200 days to go until our expected meeting...

Love,
Mom

Little Hands and Feet

My Darling Child,

I got a chance to see you again this week. 10 weeks in, still feels like forever until we can meet face to face. But time is going by!

I was so excited to see your hands and feet. How amazing it is! I saw your beautiful heart beating away again and got to listen to it. Amazing. Nothing is as precious as knowing you are finally growing, real, living. 

My child, you are beautiful already. I can't wait to see you again. Although, that probably won't be until 20 weeks when I can find out if you are a girl or a boy. 

I have fallen in love with you already, my child. A mother's love is undeniable. I loved you before I knew you existed and now, that love is just growing. My heart melts every time I see you. And each time, I see something else that is new, that has grown. You are precious and loved already.

Love, 
Mom