Saturday, September 5, 2009

Isaiah 26:4

My Darling Child,

It seems yet again that this is not the month you will be introduced to life and breath. So you are still just a beautiful thought. I think about you every day and about my desire to finally know that you are more than just a thought.

Oh, my child, I never thought the journey would be so long and so hard. There have been so many storms to battle during this journey. I was listening to one of Casting Crown's songs on the radio today that reminded me of the perspective I need to have while waiting for you.

"And I'll praise you in this storm,
and I will lift my hands. For You are who You are, no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried, You hold in your hand. You never left my side. And though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm."

Oh, how I pray child, that you will have that perspective when you are an adult. Life is hard and things don't happen when we want or expect them to happen. Yet we praise God, for He has already gone before us and He knows our very future.

I can't deny that it is a difficult journey waiting for you. Nothing about it is easy. But oh, how it is worth it. My child, one day, we will finally meet. And some day far along the journey, I can tell you all the work it has been just to find you. I keep reminding myself that our day will come.

Oh, my charming Babe, I want to teach you so many things and raise you to serve a Living God. Our Savior is so gracious and loving. Even as I still walk through the storm of infertility, He is faithful and walks right beside me. He is preparing my heart for you. So many emotions go into Parenthood and God is still working on Mommy. I'm sure that when He feels my heart is ready, He'll finally let use meet. Oh, how I am so impatient for that day! I don't want to wait. I want that day now! Yet, it's not in my time but in God's time.

Until my next letter, know that you are a constant thought and I know deep down that our meeting day is coming closer.


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