I find myself distant from writing letters as of late. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the daily trips to the fertility specialist, the shots in the thigh, the bloodwork, and all the gritty details of a medicated cycle. It becomes routine, just another way to live life. Some days, it's easy to not think about writing anything. Some days I wonder if I'll ever have you in my arms to share these letters with. But I know that God has a plan and even though I can't see His plan, I know His mighty hand is at work.
I worry sometimes that we will never be able to meet. But there are many great people praying for you. Maybe one day soon you will no longer be just a mere thought. You'll actually be a reality. In the meantime, I'll get back in the habit of writing my letters to you. I never want you to wonder if you were loved, wanted, needed. You are what I spend my days trying to find. Your dad and I are trying everything we can, whatever the doctor recommends. You are the ultimate prize and we are determined to reach the finish line. It would help if I could just start running the race. Seems that I'm still getting everything in line, training for the marathon.
My child, I will find you. The time isn't right yet. Only God knows the time and day that we will finally meet. I'll continue to wait, though not so patiently anymore. Please wait for me to find you, I'm coming as fast as I can.
The Consequence of Intimacy
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